Better to Be Loved or Feared

Machiavelli, the well-known philosopher of the Italian Renaissance, poses this question in this famous book excerpt The Morals of the Prince: is it better to be loved than feared, or vice versa? Machiavelli answers his own question, arguing that a prince is much safer being feared than being loved. Inducing fear upon his subjects with cruelty will keep them united and loyal. Those who are fearful of a person of any authority are more inclined not to cross the boundary of disrespect, for fear of punishment. Without a doubt, being loved is desired and has a greater value compared to being feared.Love has the power to nurture, support and ultimately, liberate; fear restricts, denies and imprisons. Personal growth and human achievement thrive on love, while fear hampers and destroys potential. Many people who aspire to be feared actually are fearful people themselves. They command respect rather than earning it, but they desperately want it all the same. To allow ourselves to be loved we have to also allow ourselves to be vulnerable. If we are very fearful people then we may feel that we need to form a protective emotional barrier around ourselves and shut out love.When this happens we may come across to others as cold and unfeeling. At the same time we may want to have as much control as possible, including control over other people. Being loved is not about having to abandon discipline, or being soft and fuzzy. For me, love means that the support, instruction, good example and encouragement help others towards freedom and goodness. It brings respect, emulation and admiration. Yet there are some in positions of power and authority, who would disagree, believing that fear achieves more. A dictatorial and rigid boss will rule by fear.Fear of the consequences, for workers, if they cannot meet his or her demands, is the way such a person chooses to operate. The unfortunate people who have to work for such a tyrant will be afraid of losing their jobs. Those people afraid to offer innovative ideas, and afraid to approach the feared person with even the simplest request work under duress, as stress and resentment build, disgusted to go to work, but fearing to do anything other than what the boss demands. In such a restrictive atmosphere, the job will get done, productivity figures might be reached, but nobody other than this boss will have much pleasure and satisfaction.Those who are in positions of great importance and power have been advised throughout the centuries that an aura of fear can be their best asset. Famous leaders who used fear, while pretending that love was a motivational factor, include Hitler, and Stalin. The historical evidence of them having been feared and the results of that, speaks volumes for how fear does indeed restrict and imprison, while denying the human spirit. Some iconic individuals in history, who have led by love and not fear, come to mind as examples of how it all works. John F. Kennedy, Dr. Martin Luther King, and Mother Theresa are particularly good illustrations. They each, in their own way, encouraged the goodness in those they led, so that individuals felt supported in ways that helped them achieve personal goodness. They have had a huge following because they were appreciated and respected for the love that they showed to the world. The world benefited by their having been in it. These are the kind of people who have continued to influence others long after they were gone. We have seen value in their life. Fear that is held about a person can diminish when they die. We have no reason to be afraid of them anymore. We may, nevertheless, still remember that person, but in a negative way. Either that or we may be grateful that they are no longer around. Love that is held for a person doesnt diminish when they die. Not only do we remember the person but we continue to experience the feeling of love that we had for them. In this way, love prevails over fear as it can be never ending. In family life, love plays the role of a powerful bullet which helps you to overcome all the difficulties that come across your path. You are able to share all your sorrows and pleasures with people who really love you and care for you. Though sometimes out of anger and fury we might behave distant but it does not mean that we dont care for each other. Family quarrels are bitter things but are of slightest importance. We should not care about these few unpleasant memories but rather we must consider and reflect about the existing love within our family members. To be loved, however, nurtures caring, compassion, loyalty, creativity, generosity of spirit, benevolence, unselfishness and other positive binding and giving emotions.It may also generate jealousy in some. But overall, it is a healthier relationship to have with other human beings. Love increases our sense of well-being, it elevates our sense of self-worth, and it serves to develop our character. It contributes to sincerity, and fulfillment in life. Looking at the wider implications of being loved or feared, then bringing this down to the everyday level of family life, working life, and social relationships, there is still no doubt that it is better to be loved than feared. .